Chance Or Causality?

I have needed to write this for days. I want, if you will allow me, to reflect on my own thoughts and share them with you. My intention is to share these reflections so that they serve to stir something in you, dear reader, about chance or causality.

If you have come this far in search of an answer or, at least, to know an interpretation of it, I anticipate that I have left an open ending for you to draw your own conclusions and share them with us.

I ask you a question: Does everything happen by chance, by chance? Or does everything happen for some reason, that is, because of the movement that we ourselves generate?

My story of chance and causality

The day before yesterday morning I sat in front of the blank page waiting for my hands and my head to get to work, but there was no response. I only had a vague idea in my head of what I wanted to convey to you and after five minutes I decided to leave it for later.

Maybe I was tired or not very inspired to write a piece, so I went outside to clear my head. I did it like that. The truth is that the change of scenery suited me very well. A few hours later, more determined and eager, I returned to stand in front of the paper as a challenge to myself. And nothing. Impossible.

Only ten minutes had passed and I already gave up feeling that this was also going to be another failed attempt. Therefore, I abandoned my desk chair again and looked to reading for my entertainment, especially to stop thinking about my inability to write this article.

So I turned to one of my favorite books: “The Blue World ”  by Albert Espinosa. I opened it to a random page that ended with the following quote:

What a coincidence! The quote described just how I was faced with such a vacuum of ideas. Did the world send me signals? I closed the book and went back to loading. More inspired and with ideas of how to structure what I wanted to tell you, or so I thought, I firmly supported my pen to draw the first line.

I wrote:  Coincidence or causality?  and I felt better about myself. As if he had overcome the barrier of emptiness with that complex interrogation. And there my inspiration ended, or rather, my desire and my patience.

Desperate, after a few minutes of searching for another chance that would lead me to hit the key, I got up again, made dinner and went to take a shower, trying to “refresh my ideas”. But I was already too tired and I thought it best to stop trying, so I went to bed. Tomorrow will be another day. Clean and clean.

First thing in the morning I woke up eagerly. I had breakfast and stood in front of what had become my “enemy” these days: the blank paper. With the feeling of being stuck in an infinite loop, I re-entered the same process of frustration from the previous day that caused me to doubt again about my ability to write this article.

Was it not a coincidence but a causality on my part? Was it not myself who was putting off what seemed impossible to me? The truth is that he could not last five minutes sitting in the chair. On many occasions, inspiration does not just come along, but you have to look for it.

He could have made drafts, diagrams, looked for information about this topic or directly accepted that he should move on to another topic in the hope of being able to link it with this one. However, I was carried away by hopelessness, by frustration that in turn led me to think that I was not capable when really only minutes passed and I did not do anything to try.

Now I find myself writing these last words, which coincidentally (or causally?) Have led me to the most important question:  Were you afraid to write what you thought? Or was I not sure to share with you these thoughts that I insisted on looking for by chance?

There are only two things true in this writing:

The first is that, by chance, I came across the following quote when opening the book again to a random page: “Unresolved doubts are unaccepted fears .  ” The second is that, by chance, by making an effort, one thought has led me to another. I have been the owner of my phrases and my emotions.

And I have turned the page again.