Don’t Give Up What Makes You Happy To Make Others Happy

Life, sometimes, forces us to make more than one resignation. And we do it because there are aspects that compensate us, because on that balanced scale there is still part of what makes you happy.

However, this is not always the case. The scale is not always kept at its point of subtle equilibrium where everyone wins and no one loses. It is common that in couple relationships, one of the two seizes his happiness for the good of the other.

Giving up is not selfish

It is not about being selfish, nor is it about prioritizing our needs above others. Life, believe it or not, requires agreements with yourself and with other people. And both are just as important.

It is necessary to maintain a dignity strong enough to feel good about ourselves, to be able to look in the mirror and recognize ourselves every day, and say: “this is me and I am happy.”

At the same time, when it comes to living together, we all need that much-needed reciprocity where each effort is worthwhile, where each resignation is compensated by other aspects. Where happiness is shared and not limited, absorbed by one of the parties. We are sure that you will be interested in reflecting on the subject.

What makes me happy defines me, if you take it away, I stop being me

Everyday happiness is made up of small and big things. You are happy to be with the people you love, whether they are friends, family, partner, pets. In addition, one is well with himself when he does what he feels, what defines him, be it hobbies, jobs, customs, gestures …

It is possible that, at a given moment, you will leave behind everything that defined you for a person. Behind was your family, your friends, your work …

Any resignation will be worth it if what we achieve offers us what we hope for, but although it is true that nothing in this life is safe, and that it is almost always necessary to take risks, people need gestures, words, attitudes and actions that show us that Everything done is worth it…  That it was worth jumping into the void to be happy.

• People often become aware of the idea that “life is a struggle”, that sometimes it is necessary to know how to give up in order to find better things, and therefore, to grow.

• Now, there is no reason to leave behind everything that makes you happy, just to make others happy. It is not logical: from the moment you stop doing what defines you and makes you happy, you stop being yourself … What are you going to offer the other person if they are no longer you?

You do not deserve who detaches you from well-being

Who also allows you to let go of what makes you smile, pleasures and well-being, does not deserve you. You are not only what is seen, you are not a physicist, a presence and a voice that breaks the silence.

You are your afternoon walks, you are your readings before going to sleep, and your unforeseen escapes to be alone. You are your mornings at the beach and your coffee with friends. You are your job, your ideals, your movies in original version and an afternoon nap with your dog… What will you have if they take away all of it?

Happiness is not in resignation, but in profit

The happiest is not the one who has the least, but the one who “has the most affection, serenity, balance and love” within him. We are not talking about physical gains, but emotional wealth, that which we should cultivate every day of our lives.

Being happy doesn’t really cost anything, yet it seems to be one of humanity’s most complex challenges. Sometimes, without really knowing how, people are skilled specialists in making life impossible for us. It would actually be enough to keep these simple aspects in mind:

• Learn to give and receive, the day to day is a continuous exchange where through mutual respect and understanding, no one should have to give up anything.

• Understand that it will be impossible to make others happy if you are not happy in the first place.

• Never make the mistake of giving everything for someone in exchange for nothing, because then you will be empty, you will be just a shadow of yourself. And if you lose your identity, you lose everything.

• Listen to yourself every day, understand your needs, just as you understand those of others. Nobody is selfish to take care of himself, to try to be happy, to grow, to be wiser, more skillful, to love himself a little more.

Images courtesy Lisa Falzon