Maybe Inside You There Is A Child Who Continues To Suffer …

Identity and self do not start at one point and end at another. Nor is it a fixed reality, which is established and stays there. We are inhabited by multiple identities , which emerge or are inhibited depending on the circumstances. For this reason, many times adult problems do not have to do with your current situation, but with the reflection of a child who continues to suffer within you.

Childhood is a decisive stage in the life of the human being. And it is because it constitutes the base on which the entire psychic structure of people is built. Any experience has a greater impact in the first years, since it imprints an attitude, a belief or a behavior, more or less stable, towards ourselves and towards the world.

When an adult carries within him a child who continues to suffer, he manifests it in different ways. He adopts that type of behavior that we call “childish”, often in a pejorative way. The truth is that they cannot avoid it. There is a part of themselves that cannot mature.

The signs that there is a child who continues to suffer inside you

A fundamental element to detect if there is a child who continues to suffer within you is to review the relationship you have with authority figures. These, in one way or another, represent your parents unconsciously. In principle, we relate to these people in an essentially similar way as we did with the parental figures who raised us.

If you fear the teacher, the boss, the manager or someone who in one way or another represents a command more than usual, there is probably a child who continues to suffer inside you. Also when you care too much about the approval of these people, to the point that you feel immensely frustrated if they show any sign of rejection.

Another very revealing aspect is the attitude you assume in the face of problems. If you do not feel capable of facing a difficulty and run away, or a deep desire to cry invades you, this becomes an indication that there is something to be solved in your childhood. Also when your first reaction is to seek help. Or when you bow your head and you don’t feel like you have the strength to defend yourself against an attack.

How was the wound that still hurts formed?

Good parents are also wrong. Not so good parents, much more. When there is a child who continues to suffer inside you, it is because you carry the stamp of a feeling of lack in childhood. That lack, in turn, becomes an invisible psychological burden, which manifests itself in situations like the ones we have described and in all those that put your strength to the test.

Basically, there is a feeling of not having been loved enough, or protected enough. This gave rise to a fear, which continues to accompany you even in adult life. Fear of being very fragile and therefore unable to fend for yourself. Unable to assert yourself in front of the world.

Sometimes it was just that your parents had to work and didn’t have the time to be a solid presence in your life. At other times it has to do with the fact that they were unstable and you didn’t know what to expect from their behavior. It also, of course, has to do with threatening and aggressive parents who generated physical or psychological violence in your early years.

Self-care and self-esteem

Be that as it may, ultimately the point is that you have reached adulthood and sometimes you behave like a child who continues to suffer. You are assaulted and fears invade you. You do not finish convincing yourself that you are capable. You also don’t know how to protect yourself or make yourself respected by others. But it is impossible to go back, so what to do?

At this point, the best alternative is to work to compensate for these deficiencies using your own resources. Your task is to take care of that child who continues to suffer. Something like adopting him and working to heal his wounds. This means self-care. Be attentive to their needs to satisfy them, as you would with a child.

Ultimately, you should become the caring, caring and protective parents for that child who continues to suffer. Be good to him. Hear it. Give it the attention it deserves. Give him time, do not be demanding, or harsh with him. This will help you make peace with the past and little by little it will lead you to reduce that feeling of helplessness or fragility that limits you. Psychotherapy is a good option in these cases.