It’s Not What Happens To You, It’s How You Think It
The negative thoughts can be very harmful to oneself. Traumatic events do not affect us so much because of the events that occurred as because of the stress and anxiety that guilt generates. Controlling our thoughts is the key to getting ahead and moving forward without the burden of guilt.
A 2013 study with more than 30,000 subjects revealed that dwelling on negative life events can be the main trigger for some of the most common current mental health problems, especially because of the guilt generated by these events.
The results indicated that it is not what happens to us that matters, but the way we think about what shapes our psychological well-being. In this sense, acting on our thoughts will help us limit these feelings of guilt with which we punish ourselves.
“While we know that a person’s genetics and life circumstances influence mental health problems, the results of this study showed that traumatic life events are the main reason why people suffer from anxiety and depression. . However, the way a person thinks, and deals with stressful events, is an indicator of the level of stress and anxiety they feel, “ said lead researcher Peter Kinderman.
While self-reflection can be a key ingredient in living a conscious and happy life, these new findings show that rumination or mulling over the negative aspects of our lives and our past is not good for us.
Therefore, while self-understanding as a means to overcome personal struggles, it is also necessary to do an exercise in self-compassion, and not to become enemies of ourselves.
In this sense, overcoming our inner critic will help us to banish guilt and self-contempt for what happened to us, what we did or what we stopped doing, thereby giving ourselves the opportunity to think positively about what we did. we still have ahead of us, as well as to lean on the good we have done and on the values and attitudes that make us stronger.
To overcome these negative self-destructive thoughts, it is important to start by learning to differentiate and recognize them, as well as identifying when those thoughts arise. In this way, we can begin to filter them, evade them and even confront them with a sharp response and zero tolerance.
On the other hand, when we find ourselves thinking negatively, when we remember things that affect us negatively, it is much better to stop thinking about them, stop ruminating on what has happened. It is much more effective to cut off those thoughts at that moment, to think of something else.
According to the conclusions derived from various studies, cognitive-behavioral interventions can be effective in reducing worry. In this sense, several studies have found that treatments in which participants are encouraged to change their thinking style or to change the emotional response of rummaging and thinking about things and worrying so much about them have positive results.
Other research has indicated that self-compassion is associated with a greater capacity for emotional recovery, with a more supportive behavior related to oneself, since.
Therefore, starting to banish negative thoughts requires becoming aware of not listening to these thoughts, cultivating self-compassion and acting against the guidelines that our inner critic marks us.
