Unrequited Love

I wish there was a simple mechanism with which to turn the page without feeling hardly anything; turn your back on failures and move forward with freedom and without suffering in your backpack, in search of a better horizon especially when we fall in love with someone who does not feel the same … How to leave behind an emotional failure or an unrequited love?

People adhere to emotions and illusions as a food with which to subsist. But when they hurt us, when they disappoint us, we continue to carry the same emotions now transformed into suffering. 

Unrequited love is a deep imprint in our heart that makes us feel alone, plunging us into the deepest sadness. To love and that they do not correspond to us is a void that it is difficult for us to fill …

In these cases we can find two aspects: that of those people who have spent a certain time with a partner to realize at the end that their feelings were not reciprocated. That all personal effort received no reciprocity.

And there can also be those cases in which we absolutely love someone who, at no time and despite our efforts, has shown any interest in our person. How are these dimensions overcome?

1. Rationalize your doubts

It happens very often. In the face of failure, in the face of rejection, it is usual that doubts about many aspects immediately assail us. Is there something in me to make them reject me like this? What do I have to change about my personality? Maybe I won’t be attractive enough? Will I always be rejected like I am now? Be careful .

Obsessing over these ideas can lead to a serious self-esteem crisis. There where our self-concept is threatened. We must be careful about personal attributions, avoiding above all to carry all the blame on our shoulders.

It is better not to look responsible for what happened and rationalize the situation while keeping our self-esteem afloat at all times. We have been rejected, yes. We will suffer, of course … But the world is not going to end with it and, without a doubt, new people will appear who love us for who we are.

2. Falling down is understandable, getting up is obligatory

Being rejected implies suffering, an attack on our self-esteem at times, as well as an event in which we all have the right to fall. But only for a while, keep that in mind.

This momentary fall is sometimes necessary to think about what happened, to go through and overcome a cycle. It is our particular grief and as such we have to live it, and then wake up with more learning and strength.

The fall is part of the process of unrequited love and therefore, we will have to go through it but with the idea of ​​continuing to grow.

Hence, we have the right to seek moments of loneliness, take refuge with tears and get angry. But after this, the rationalization of what happened must come, there where to obtain some conclusions and a particular learning.

Everyone is rejected sometime, we must normalize it and think that it has not been more than a stage of our life. And that others will come much more satisfactory, there where we can find the happiness we deserve.

3. Yes to healthy distances

” I do not want a relationship with you, but we can remain as friends “, is a common phrase with which we must be careful. Do you think that making a friendship can be good for you? Sometimes it is better to establish distances, stop seeing and treating that person as a necessary means to pass a stage,  to overcome a disappointment and move forward in our life.

Not only will we establish distances with that person, it is also necessary to relativize what happened to avoid preventing us from leading a normal life, avoiding falling into obsession.

4. Set new plans, new goals

An unrequited love is an emotional failure to overcome, we know, but do not put walls to your future and prevent yourself from being happy again. Put aside negative thoughts and avoid first of all attributing all the blame, all the responsibility to yourself.

Perhaps this is the ideal time to rethink new things in your life … Should I perhaps look at other types of people? Should I be more cautious from now on and not get my hopes up so quickly? A failure is not an end …

Living the experience of unrequited love can open new goals for us being a little more prudent, but without losing the illusion at any time. Put aside the sadness of your heart, keep your self-esteem afloat, and always bet on new opportunities.