Being Vulnerable Does Not Prevent Being Brave

We are all vulnerable in some way : we have hurts, fears, we feel shame and we even avoid certain situations to get away from suffering and discomfort.

What happens is that most of us are terrified of accepting it, it gives us vertigo that they hurt us, of not having guarantees and being aware that, like Achilles, we also have our vulnerable areas, those that are related to fear of exposing oneself, doubting or experiencing emotional risk. The truth is that they are necessary to be brave, to go beyond our fears. Let’s go deeper.

Vulnerability is not weakness

According to Brené Brown, a professor and researcher at the University of Houston, vulnerability is not weakness, but the most accurate measure of our worth. Because when we show ourselves vulnerable we show ourselves as we are: imperfect, without filters or appearances, in our truest form.

Accepting vulnerability implies recognizing that you have wounds and pending issues, that certain experiences generate pain and suffering, but that they are accepted as part of oneself. And, above all, it implies that you are sincere and that you are committed to a true connection with others. Because how can they love us if they can’t see us as we are?

Now, in a world where the tyranny of perfection reigns, this is not easy to deal with. To this day, being vulnerable has a negative connotation. Hence our tendency is to hide what makes us feel more fragile, more defenseless and less valid. So we run away from everything that reminds us that we are not perfect, that we make mistakes and that in some way makes us feel ashamed.

For example, always wanting to be right, believing that your life is perfectly controlled or that you are not guilty of anything are just ways that some people use to escape the feeling of discomfort and pain.

However, this flight only entails a rejection of what one is, an exile towards invisibility that results in non-acceptance of oneself. And so it is impossible for the seeds of courage and change to germinate because we are only surrounded by fear …

Therefore, recognizing yourself as vulnerable is daring to show your face and let yourself be seen, to risk being seen by others as we are: with strengths, but also with wounds and insecurities. It is showing oneself without masks and abandoning the idea of ​​one day becoming perfect and immune, because as Brené Brown says, that does not exist in human experience.

To be brave you have to take risks

Courage is not incompatible with vulnerability, although it is often thought that it is. To be brave is to recognize oneself as vulnerable in the first place because it implies going beyond fears to look in the mirror and see ourselves as we are. It is about betting on oneself, on what one believes in despite insecurities; to take a step forward when the body trembles and breaks inside, to continue even without guarantees …

Being brave is about getting involved, but not superficially, but really: taking into account that it may or may not turn out well, but that the important thing is to try when we cannot control the result. It involves abandoning comfort, to decide what to do and where to go.

Thus, instead of waiting for everything to happen as we imagine and for the perfect occasion to arrive, we have to dare and take risks. Because as much as we want, there are very few things that are assured in this life. What happens is that this is not possible if one does not accept being vulnerable.

For all these reasons, courage is directly related to vulnerability, since it is not a matter of not having fears, but of transcending them; to have enough courage to face the situations that arise in our day to day, despite fear, shame and any other feeling that prevents us from moving forward.

So, can you be brave by being vulnerable? Of course, the truth is that it cannot be otherwise …