5 Causes Of Exaggerated Narcissism

The causes of exaggerated narcissism have to do with deficiencies and excesses during childhood. Sometimes what prevails is a pattern of lack. The correct affections or stimuli were lacking. At other times, the predominant note is excess: parents went above and beyond in meeting the children’s needs.

The problems associated with narcissism have different levels. Sometimes it is simply an area or part of the way of being. At other times, there is a narcissistic personality disorder, which is more serious. In the latter case, grandiosity and selfishness invade the whole personality. And there may be antisocial traits.

Depending on what the causes of exaggerated narcissism are, it will leave an imprint or another on the personality. In all cases there are some traits in common, although of different intensity.

In general, what predominates is grandiosity, arrogance , exploitation of others and interpersonal problems. There can also be many hidden traits that denote feelings of inferiority. Whatever the case, the main causes of exaggerated narcissism are as follows.

Abuse, one of the causes of exaggerated narcissism

Sometimes it is believed that someone who has suffered abuse during their childhood turns into someone completely timid. This is not always true. On many occasions the exact opposite happens. In other words, the victim develops a narcissistic personality. He wants to be above others all the time.

Abuse is one of the most complex causes of exaggerated narcissism. What happens in this case is that this trait operates as a compensation and defense mechanism. The idea of ​​”I will never again be a victim of another” is forged. That is why the  self- image is “inflated” so that it ends up becoming an exaggerated exaltation of the self.

Abandonment

When there is abandonment, something similar happens to what happens with abuse. The person experienced such a great feeling of vulnerability in childhood that he decides to build a wall between himself and the world. That wall is narcissism. The main consequence of abandonment, in this case, is a profound difficulty in experiencing empathy.

What happens in these cases is that narcissism acts like a shell. Furthermore, within that shell hides an extremely weak person. That is why it is usual for this type of people to feel real terror in the face of the rejection of others. Or that they have strong feelings of shame for how they have ordered their insides. Narcissism only serves to hide them.

Parental inconsistency

Parental inconsistency is one of the causes of exaggerated narcissism. Inconsistency is a lack of consistency. It can occur between words and actions or between actions themselves. It is up to parents to say one thing but do quite another. Or those who are erratic and you never know how they will act.

This is characteristic of anxious parents. It leads to strong insecurity in children. This class of parents lavish exaggerated praise on their children. At the same time, they criticize them too harshly. Narcissism is the response to the anguish caused by being in the hands of a changing and incoherent criterion.

Empty overvaluation of parents

This mechanism is very typical of parents who carry feelings of guilt. Maybe they don’t pay enough time and attention to their children. They know this is wrong. Thus, to compensate for the damage, they frequently and ineptly try to highlight certain traits that they think their children treasure, regardless of whether they have them or not, since they know very little about them.

They do this through excessive praise and expensive gifts. It is a way to make up for and cover up your lack of true affection. They feel compelled to celebrate whatever their child does, so that in that sense no one can doubt their affection for them. Thus, the child can gradually form an idealized image of himself, nothing close to reality.

Defensive blocking

Overprotection is a form of abuse. It conveys a message of fear and anxiety. Install a thought in the child’s mind: he is unable to face the vicissitudes of life. It also makes him think that there is “something special” in him that must be constantly cared for, a weakness immanent in his being. This fuels both insecurity and exaggerated narcissism.

Over time, a defensive block occurs. The person settles in a bubble. He thinks that others, if they want him, should protect him and serve his needs. He becomes indolent to the needs of others.

Many of the causes of exaggerated narcissism have to do with the parents’ own narcissism. Sometimes they want to repair the wounds of their self-esteem through their children or to fulfill their own narcissistic desires. The problem is that they end up achieving the opposite. In this sense, let us remember that psychotherapy can contribute decisively to restructure a self-esteem that is healthy and has real strength.