When Emotions Overwhelm You: What Can You Do?

When you feel your emotions overwhelm you, stop and take a deep breath. We have all experienced that sensation in the middle of an argument or when anxiety, always attentive and lurking, takes control of a situation and takes us prisoner… These emotional kidnappings are devastating; however, we always have tools at our fingertips so as not to lose control.

It is possible that these types of realities are well known to us. There are those who are more vulnerable to emotional floods, others, on the other hand, make use of an iron self-control thanks to which they manage each one of these “emotional threats” one by one. Like someone who forcibly swallows a piece of food, without chewing it first. However, neither strategy usually produces the best results.

The imprint of those complex emotional universes will remain there, on the surface, robbing us of calm and balance. Thus, a common fact in clinical practice is to see how patients who agree in their complaints come to consultation: “the problem with my anxiety is terrible”, “I do not know what to do with my anger, it surpasses me”, “I have problems with my emotions, I don’t know what to do to make them let me live ”.

These types of statements show us once again the bias that the general population shows regarding this issue. We continue to think that emotions are bad, that feeling anguish has no purpose, that life itself without the shadow of fear would be a life with greater meaning. We forget, perhaps, that these dimensions always have a clear purpose for our subsistence and adaptation.

Knowing, accepting and managing emotions much better, without shunning or denying them, will avoid those recurring emotional floods.

If emotions overwhelm you, look at the horizon

If your emotions overwhelm you at any given moment, look for the horizon line and stay there for a moment. Let the world go by with its sounds, let the discussion at work take its course. Allow that stimulus that scares you to be frozen in time, trapped in a harmless dimension. Set your gaze on that imaginary line of peace and give your body a few seconds to regulate breathing, heartbeat, tension …

As they say, when chaos reigns the best balm is always calm. If we say this, it is for a very specific fact. When the human being experiences an emotional flood, it  is the most instinctive part of our brain that governs this panic mechanism; and in those moments, everything is chaotic, disorderly and intense. So much so, that in these situations the prefrontal cortex, where our capacity for analysis, decision-making and logical reasoning are orchestrated, is “disconnected”.

Let’s see below how this complex process is shaped.

The amygdala and the direct journey into fear or anger

When emotions overwhelm you, you can go from calm to panic, anger or fear in just five seconds. How can that be? What mechanism is within us capable of taking control in such a way? We have all asked ourselves this question at times, and the answer could not be more fascinating as well as disturbing: the one responsible for all this is the brain amygdala.

Thus, as revealed by a study carried out by Emory University in Atlanta and published in the journal Biological Psychiatry,  the amygdala is the one that modulates all our behavior associated with fear, stress or aggressiveness.  For example, it has been shown that this small structure is the one that collects information from our environment in relation to the threats that surround us (whether real or not); it is she, too, that makes us react with a very specific goal: to survive.

Unregulated emotions, emotions that overflow

People who develop emotional disorders are characterized, in essence, by something very specific: they cannot or cannot regulate their emotions. This situation creates more anguish over time until it forms a type of helplessness where everything is beyond their control. Therefore, we must be clear: the emotions that we do not regulate today will overwhelm us tomorrow, and if this situation becomes chronic, conditions such as generalized anxiety and depression may appear.

Also, another aspect that we must consider is the following: in these situations it is useless to suppress emotions or block thoughts. The classic idea of “I am not going to think about that or rather I repress this rage or this anger” far from helping us can generate more blocks and problems in the short and long term.

What to do when emotions overwhelm you?

What strategy is the most appropriate when emotions overwhelm you? Often in any psychological context we use the word “emotional control.” Instead of “control” it would be more appropriate to make use of the term “regulation” due to the flexibility and dynamism that this word transmits to us.

Somehow, whoever controls tends to include in that action a mixture of strength and dominance. In this case and in the emotional sphere, it is preferable to put resistance aside and opt for acceptance, management, flexibility, transformation and movement.

Let us therefore see what strategies we should apply in these cases.

• A study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology points out  that emotional regulation is not one size fits all. In other words, there is no single strategy that works for every situation and circumstance. The anxiety of facing an exam, an argument, having to accept a breakup or even a loss will make us have to implement coping strategies.
• On the other hand, emotions are always there for a purpose and we must ask ourselves what they expect or want from us. Hence, looking up to the horizon is always a useful strategy in the face of a state of alarm, to enter our mental palace and find ourselves. Once there, we and ask ourselves what happens and why this happens.

• In addition, we have to point out another relevant factor. The brain amygdala is that sentinel that in most cases decides to mobilize fear or anger before we allow it. Act on instinct and not logic. When it does, it takes control of our body and triggers all the symptoms that we already know: tachycardia, dizziness, sweating …

When emotions overwhelm us, it is of little use to say to ourselves that of “calm down, nothing happens.” Because for our body and brain “something does happen”. Therefore, in those moments the most appropriate thing is to calm your own body through deep breathing. Breathing deeply and exhaling will help us to regulate the heart, to remove muscular tension … And when the body is balanced, we can then knock on the door of our mind and talk with it.

Let’s put it into practice.