Three Strategies To Face Fear

They say that fear is like a monster that feeds on itself. This means that when you are afraid of a fear, and do not face it, it is as if you nurture it so that it grows. It is very easy to tell yourself that you must face a fear, the difficult thing is to find the correct method to do it.

Sometimes you have enough courage and decide to expose yourself to what causes you fear. Like when you are afraid of heights and to overcome this problem you simply go one good day and go up to a high place, hoping to conjure up your fear.

The problem is that this “all or nothing” tactic doesn’t always work. Sometimes you get stuck in the middle, or experience such a horrible feeling doing it that in the end you decide never to try again. In other words, you get the opposite effect.

In reality, facing a fear is quite a process. It has its steps, its times and its methods. The right thing to do is to deal with that which causes you fear by designing a strategy that actually leads you to meet that goal. These are three strategies to deal with fear effectively.

Reflect on your fear

The first thing is to make a broad and deep reflection on what causes you fear.  You must ask yourself the question “What am I really afraid of?” and write down all the answers that come to your mind, no matter how absurd.

There are fears that are completely reasonable. You fear the water because you can’t swim. You fear wild animals because they have a physical strength far superior to yours and they react instinctively, without reason or argument.

Others, on the other hand, are irrational and are born from motivations that you do not know. When you fear harmless insects, for example. Or at heights, even if you are locked in a building and do not have the slightest chance of falling.

Know and accept your fears

What you should do, then, is try to know your fear as well as possible. Not fighting it, but accepting it and looking at it head-on from every possible perspective. Are you afraid of mice? Why exactly? When was the first time you felt that fear? How do you react when you have a bug like that in front of you?

Investigate the source of your fear, because almost all fear is associated with a lack of information. If what scares you is love, read a lot about it, find out what others think of that fear. The same with whatever object makes you feel fearful and intimidated.

Recognize your own resources

Fear makes you feel helpless and miserable. In fact, sometimes it leads you to forget everything that you are capable of doing, everything that you are capable of facing. Fear operates like a worm that corrodes you inside and leads you to perceive yourself as someone who is tied hand and foot, unable to act.

That is why it is very important that you change your perspective. Think about everything you do day after day that requires strength and character. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that simply getting up to fulfill obligations requires a great deal of skills and virtues.

Ask yourself about all those virtues that you put into practice in your day to day. Don’t be stingy in recognizing your own values. On the contrary: appreciate without false modesty that large number of attributes without which it would be impossible to cope with your daily routine.

Visualize your life without fear

Then visualize what your life would be like if you did not have that fear that torments you and that probably limits you to do much more. Think about how things would change if you weren’t under the yoke of fear. Make a list of everything you could win.

Try to get as close as you can to what scares you. For example, if what scares you is speaking in public, go to conferences and stand in the front row to be close to whoever is giving them. Try to meet theater actors, or people who work with audiences.

Take action

The most important thing is not to overcome fear all at once, but to take action to achieve it. If you really want to leave that fear behind, the only command you cannot break is this: “Never, for any reason, remain passive in the face of what causes you fear. “

Refuse to be a victim of fear. Assume that , however difficult it may be, you are always capable of responding to fear. That response may be to avoid what causes you fear, but the goal is not to do it mechanically or compulsively, but reasoned.

If you avoid facing that object or that situation that scares you, you should not simply lose control and run away. You have to have a kind of “step by step” to act in case the confrontation overwhelms you.

But beware, that shouldn’t last forever. Set yourself a limit in time to face what causes you fear. If at the end of that period it is impossible for you to expose yourself to what causes you fear, it is time for you to seek professional help.

Remember that in most cases, the only really difficult thing is to make the decision to face the fear. Once you do it, you discover that everything was in your mind; that the threat was not as serious as you were imagining it. That finally you were only afraid of fear and that was the only thing that allowed that monster to grow inside you.

Images courtesy of Jack Traverse