Your Problems Can Be A Wall Or A Door: What Do You Choose?

Your problems can be a wall or a door and whether it is one or the other will depend on more than your personal attitude or approach. Let’s admit it, there are times when adversity comes to us without warning and no matter how hard we look for it, we do not find the courage or the motivation to face it. In other words, we cannot always be 200% in the face of every challenge that comes our way. And that is normal.

Although the truth is that as Albert Einstein said, before solving a problem the most important thing is to understand it. Something like this takes time and clarity of mind. Therefore, something that we must understand first is that we are not made of algorithms, cables or subroutines. We are not machines, we are people and feeling scared or shocked by unforeseen events is understandable and common.

However, nothing is as important as understanding each of our reactions and also having the right strategies in your pocket. Nobody comes to this world with a manual under his arm with a solution for every breach of destiny. Living is improvising, trying, making mistakes and trying again. Therefore, a series of strategies can be useful to make problems bridges for progress and growth.

Your problems can be a wall or a door: 3 strategies that will be useful to you

If we said right now that an ideal way to solve problems is to put worry aside, it is possible that more than one would be surprised. So … the key to everything would be to “not worry” about the misfortunes that come our way? And how is this done? Well, the truth is that the real secret lies more in developing an adaptive reflection and not a maladaptive rumination.

In other words: when faced with problems, we must be able to put into practice a healthy type of worry that allows us to take care of things and not feed excessive (and unhelpful) worry. If we point out the latter, it is for a very important fact. Research works such as those carried out at Yale University by Dr. Susan Nolen indicate something that we must take into account.

Your problems can be a wall or a door, it is true. However, the fact of feeding excessive worry builds the very foundations of that wall, a wall that will also leave you trapped in suffering. Because when you don’t control rumination states, you run the risk of developing a depressive disorder.

It is worth keeping in mind a series of strategies so that this does not happen.

Calm mind to see more clearly the reality that surrounds me

We are not always prepared to face a problem. No one can respond to a complicated situation quickly and instantly. Therefore, feeling overwhelmed and even scared at first is normal and permissible. It is part of the adaptation to reality. We should not judge ourselves for feeling collapsed at first.

We must give ourselves time and get used to what that problem, that uncertainty, that turn in the road demands of us. The essential thing is to achieve a relaxed state of mind. An example in this regard, Dr. Mark Beeman from Northwester University is one of the leading experts in what is known as “eureka experiences”, that is, those processes that suddenly allow us to find the solution to a problem.

Something that he points out to us in his book The Eureka Factor: Aha Moments, Creative Insight, and the Brain  is that only through a relaxed mind are the deepest brain connections made. This translates into more innovative and creative response strategies.

Learning to reframe problems: what is the real trigger for what happens to me?

Thomas Wedell-Wedellborg is another expert on thinking, innovation, and problem solving. Something that tells us is that, on average, people are good at solving other people’s challenges and unforeseen events. In other words, if a friend goes through a bad time, we are usually very effective in giving help. However, when we are the ones who have a complicated challenge ahead, we have a hard time separating the wheat from the chaff and clarifying what the real problem is.

An example. You may have anxiety and problems with your partner lately. It is possible that you feel more tired of the account and you say to yourself that “everything is stress and nothing else”. However, if you stopped to analyze the situation calmly, you would identify the trigger: your discomfort at work.

I mean, your problems can be a wall or a door, it’s true. But if you are not able to identify what the real problem is, you will only see walls before you.

Your problems can be a wall or a door: you can jump them or go through them

Every problem has two ways out: you either face it or you accept it. We would love to be able to say that from every crossroads, or even more so, that every adversity has its graceful and positive end. However, as we well know, this rule of three is not always true. There are situations that have no solution and in which there is only acceptance.

There are experiences from which we cannot learn anything because the only thing we expect from them is that they pass. Still, all of these events are situations that enable us on the journey of life. The important thing is to keep in mind that we are always obliged to respond to every new or unexpected situation.

And while it is true that your problems can be a wall or a door, remember that no matter how high the walls are, they can be climbed and surpassed.