The Main Obstacles At The Beginning Of A Relationship

The beginning of a relationship is never easy . Challenges, disagreements and some disappointment always arise. This is something unavoidable and most common. It is an almost normative process where we get to know each other and readjust expectations, goals, hobbies and customs. At the end of the day, we are trying to fit our pieces so that the corners of each one do not stick into either of them.

Thus, great experts on the subject such as John M. Gottman point out that nothing is as necessary as facing these first obstacles. Dealing with conflict, difference or contradiction is a way of getting to know each other much better and of establishing adequate learning about relationships.

Overcoming those potholes allows us to continue building the relationship. Because it is an adaptation process, we are going to have to accept complications, and in some cases arm ourselves with patience to overcome them. Irremediably this is part of the process of discovery and rediscovery of the person with whom we have started a relationship.

Learning to communicate, key to the beginning of a relationship

Communicating effectively is one of the main challenges for the beginning of a relationship. For this daily dialogue to be healthy, we have to learn to express what we need. Furthermore, studies such as the one carried out at the University of Georgia show us that achieving good communication guarantees the stability of this link.

• A person who has been with us for a long time has probably already become an expert in interpreting our non-verbal language.

• Now, a new couple without this background will have it easier without proposing an open communication instead of encrypted.

Communication can often be clouded by misunderstandings and interpretations that we make on the fly and almost automatically. To overcome this, a good idea is to always ask before interpreting and, above all, invest all our attention in listening when they speak to us.

Learning to communicate as a couple will be a challenge that you have to go through sooner or later. If we don’t learn to do it, the relationship is doomed. It is a basic pillar for the proper functioning of the couple relationship, so it cannot be neglected.

Adjust to reality

Another key element in the beginning of the relationship is to take care of high expectations. Idealization is a component closely related to falling in love.

Therefore, it is almost inevitable to focus more on the good things in our partner when we begin the relationship. However, we must try to keep our feet on the ground so that our expectations do not stray too far from who the other person really is.

You have to know that, although our partner has many good aspects, it will also have many others that we do not like. After all, acceptance is where true love appears, when we are prepared to see the other person as they are, without trying to change them.

Try to fill the void

The couple is not there to meet our expectations, nor to fill our inner emptiness. Finding someone to not feel alone and to forget past experiences with other couples is the first stroke of rowing so that the relationship does not come to fruition. We have to fill the gaps ourselves, although others can contribute to making them more or less rich in content.

Moreover, studies on couples therapy such as the one carried out at the University of Shiran, Iran, indicate that it is necessary to work on our unresolved emotions to better cope with the relationship.

We may not be okay with ourselves, but we cannot wait for the other person to resolve our conflict, and to give us the peace and security we need in our lives. No one can do your job to resolve your internal conflicts, not even your partner.

A healthy relationship consists of being with the other person to share who we are, and not because of the need to fill in our gaps. If we flee from loneliness, we will fall into the error of not learning to be with ourselves.