Can You Live Without Friends?

Can you live without friends? Faced with this question, it is most likely that more than one will say that “ Of course you can! I do it, I have no friends and I am alive ” . It is true, one is not going to lack oxygen for not having social ties, it does not stop the heart or we fade carried by the wind just for this reason. However, how do you live without them? Do we experience well-being or do we get gripped from time to time by the prick of emptiness?

Indeed, it is clear that no one loses their life for not having at least one friend. However, in many cases, this fact is perceived with some sadness, disappointment and discouragement. Suffice it to say that one of the reasons people go to therapy is because of the feeling of loneliness, because they cannot build solid social ties and do not have someone to talk to, laugh with and share good vital moments.

People are social beings and the brain needs that quality interaction with peers to enjoy positive emotions, feel validated and find security. Now, as it is pointed out from evolutionary psychology, having friends is not necessary for our survival, but it makes life have a higher quality and that we achieve happiness, from time to time.

Is it possible to live without friends?

It is often said that the quality of our social relationships is nourished by what we have experienced in the family. Now this is not entirely true.

There are those who have a traumatic past due to abusive or lack of affection parents and, nevertheless, have built their true family with the bonds of friendship. Sometimes the reverse is even true: having a loving family does not always guarantee that we will achieve strong friendships.

On the other hand, and beyond all this, no one can deny that good friends bring color to life. They are accidental discoveries that, unlike the family, are not given to us. And almost without knowing how, they become accomplices, unexpected treasures that travel with us during a certain time or, sometimes, forever. There are friends who come and go; it’s true. False friendships and friendships that make us a better person.

However, there are those who, due to lack of social skills or also due to accumulating more than one disappointment, have not had these figures for a long time. The question therefore is , can you live without friends?

You can live without friends because we are an increasingly individualistic society

You can live without friends, that’s right. In fact, in a research work carried out at the University of Arizona by doctors Melika Demir and Ingrid Davidson, something interesting was shown that invites us to reflect. It was discovered that, indeed, friendships are a variable for experiencing happiness; however, this factor is not the most important on average for people.

The most decisive thing is the satisfaction of basic needs and also the feeling of competence. Feeling independent, having basic aspects covered such as food, work, housing or even having a partner is more desirable. Likewise, another factor is added and it is that of “liquid relationships”.

As the philosopher and sociologist Zygmunt Bauman would say, society is increasingly individualistic. This makes links more fragile, unreliable, and even elusive. Friends come and go, they rarely last and although this can generate disaffection, there are those who get used to it.

I don’t need friends because I interact socially with a lot of people

People need to have access to everyday social interaction, the most basic at least. Talking with co-workers, exchanging conversations with neighbors, who sells us our bread with every day… These are moments that make us feel good, to the point that many people don’t need to go any further. That is, they do not want or do not seek to consolidate solid links that become true friendships.

Therefore, this type of rather superficial interaction is sufficient for certain men and women, who could safely say that, indeed, it is possible to live without friends.

Does not having strong friends have a cost?

We already know that yes, you can live without friends. There are many people who lack this type of bond for one reason or another and they assume it that way, that is how they spend their days. Now … perhaps this fact has some kind of psychological cost? It is true that each person is different and there will be someone who will be satisfied with the bond of the family or the couple. Others may even feel fulfilled in their solitude.

However, it is not normal nor is it recommended. What’s more, there is a fact that we should take into account: suicides are increasingly frequent in this individualistic society and fragile relationships . The fact of not having friends does not kill us by itself, it is true, but it makes life harder.

People need quality friendships, figures in which to place our trust to create spaces in which to nurture ourselves emotionally. Friendship makes existence fuller, gives it more meaning and offers us that kind of support that reverts so much to mental health.

The absence of this dimension creates voids and wounds in which disaffection and loneliness navigate, painfully clinging and distorting our reality. Let’s not deprive ourselves of them, let’s look for people with whom to share passions, with whom to grow, laugh, share … The benefits are incalculable.