Courtesy Costs Nothing And You Earn A Lot

Being courteous costs nothing, and yet it pays off. It is a behavior that should be seen more often, because the words said with softness, tact and courtesy build, because a “I’m sorry”, a “please” or a “you first” are the perfume of that kindness that many of us strive to keep practicing.

Now, beyond seeing courtesy as a simple act of respect for our fellow man, we could say that it is something more than all this. We speak of a personal value, of a way of acting where we create positive relationships through cordiality. There where recognition helps us to build a meaningful and even powerful type of language.

If we stop for a moment to analyze this type of behavior, we will realize that many times, a courteous act is experienced as something unexpected. Why is this person being so nice to me? Is he flirting? Does he want something? We have reached a point where courtesy, indeed, takes us by surprise and even causes us mistrust.

A curious fact that deserves more than one reflection. 

Courtesy is taught through examples

We live in a society where to ask for help or information from certain companies or organizations over the phone, we are attended by machines programmed for it . On our trains and buses, we are reminded through signs that we must give up seats to pregnant women or the elderly, because apparently we often “forget” to do so.

Now, the person who acts courteously does not need to be reminded of how kindness is practiced. He does it because he feels it that way, and also because that is how he has lived it since he was a child. In fact, and although it may seem curious, it is not enough to teach our children to be kind, to thank, to say good morning or to express sorry when the situation requires it.

Children learn by example more than by words, therefore, we have to be very careful with what we do or say before their eyes, always attentive, always receptive and tremendously sensitive.

• It will be useless to teach a child to ask for things please if he sees how his father imposes his will, wishes and orders without taking him or his mother into account.

• It will be useless to tell our children that they should respect others if they hear their mother, father or grandparents despise other people behind their backs.

• It will be of little use to any creature to tell him that it is necessary to treat others as one would like to be treated, if what he receives from his family is misunderstanding, loneliness or unhappiness.

No one can develop or apply authentic courtesy if they have not first experienced, felt and seen in their own skin how the most authentic acts of kindness and appreciation for the other are constructed. The moment you experience what it feels like to be considerate, you understand why it is so important to foster that same feeling in others.

Because courtesy actually costs nothing, however, it achieves a lot.

How to Make Kindness Contagious

Neuroeconomist Paul Zak. J explains that to improve our work and personal settings it is necessary to act with courtesy, kindness and appreciation. Our brain reacts positively to a kind and unexpected act.  It secretes oxytocin, which, beyond being seen only with that hormone related to affection or motherhood, is already defined as “the hormone of morality”.

• To achieve friendlier surroundings, it is not enough to be courteous. If day by day we live in a context full of acts that lack courtesy, it is necessary to show how we feel, and that these negative behaviors have an inadequate impact.

• Rudeness, lack of tact, respect should not be overlooked. You have to set limits, vetoes and warnings.

• Experts in occupational psychology speak of establishing a psychological pact. Something like this could be summed up as “if you show me consideration and respect you will bring out the best in me and I will bring out the best in you. We will both win. Now, if you despise me, this circle of harmony is broken and we all lose. “

Kindness and courtesy is not a simple lesson to pass on to our children: it is much more than this. It is a model of life through which to set an example to create a more dignified world for all.