I Just Want To Be Loved
It is likely that you know someone or that you yourself have the need to feel loved. Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I want love” or “I just want to be loved” ? It is not uncommon to find people who feel bad after ending a relationship because they do not want to stop feeling loved. But what causes this feeling? And why do some care more about being loved than about the relationship itself?
The psychological need for love
One of the basic needs of the human being is love. Psychologists do not consider this to be a problem as long as it does not significantly affect your life. Obviously, this affectation is negative for the person. Some examples are:
- When your need for love prevents you from having a happy life. Do the phrases such as: “love does not exist because I have not found someone who loves me” sound familiar?
- You have the exaggerated doubt that someone can love you. Worse still, you put the love of others to the test.
- The need to feel loved has become the priority of your life. In fact, you do everything you can to achieve it.
If the above sounds familiar, there really may be something wrong with the way you understand love. When all you care about is feeling loved or finding someone who loves you, it is necessary to analyze what situation in the past has led you to it.
Why do some people need more love than others?
Human beings are very different. We are the result of the experiences, desires and the past that we live. Sometimes this all works together to make you insecure or in need of proving that you are as good as everyone else. Among the most common causes are:
- Lack of love in childhood. The first two people we come into contact with are our parents. Sometimes they are distant, cold and distant. If you grew up with these types of parents, you may begin to doubt your importance. It is not uncommon for you to doubt your partner’s love as you grow up.
- The order of birth. Only children and young children tend to feel less lovelessness. The exception to the above would be if your parents are distant or cold. However, it is more common for older children to feel this lack of love. This is because as children they felt that they were “dethroned” by their younger siblings. It is common that as you grow up, you try to build very intense relationships that replace the love that you feel you lacked.
- The need for acceptance. For some people, feeling loved is just one more step toward feeling accepted. These people often have self-esteem issues. They only manage to feel better if they know they are loved. In this case, it is best to strengthen self-esteem. Otherwise, it can lead to situations of codependency or violence.
“I need to feel loved! I want to be loved”
If you have found yourself saying things like “I need to be loved”, “I want to be loved” and “I do not feel loved” you must see within yourself. It is important that you find out if the other person does not really show their love to you or if you have psychological needs that affect your perception. If you do not find emotional balance, the love of your partner or your loved ones will never be enough.
Don’t worry if it now seems that your partner or the people around you are not giving you enough love. You must first understand the reason for this exaggerated need. Once you know the reasons, it will be possible for you to find the solution to the problem.
The second thing you should do is improve your self-esteem. This will help you depend on others to be happy and love yourself. Finally, you will have to change your ideas or behavior patterns. You will have to avoid repeating negative phrases with which you sabotage yourself. You know, the ones that intensify your need to be loved or the idea that you are not loved.
If you always think that your loved ones do not love you or that they treat you well just out of kindness and not out of love, you should find a solution to this problem. Once you learn to see the love and need you have differently, you can improve your relationships. These will be more stable and complete.
