Our Ability To Hear What Is Not Being Said (emotional Contagion)
“It was the beginning of the Vietnam War when the soldiers of an American platoon were squatting in the middle of a rice paddy, in the middle of firefight with the Vietcong.
Suddenly, a line of six monks began to walk along the small hills that separated one paddy field from another. With serenity and perfect bearing, they headed straight for the line of fire.
They did not look left or right. Were they walking in a straight line ??, recalls one of the American soldiers. It was really weird, because no one shot them.
And after they finished walking the mounds, suddenly the desire to fight left me. He didn’t feel like doing that anymore, at least today. It must have been like that for everyone, because they all dropped out. We just stop fighting ??.
The power of the monks’ serene courage to appease soldiers in the heat of battle illustrates a basic principle of social life. Emotions are contagious. “
Let’s imagine that we are having a coffee with some friends and that, suddenly, one of them begins to laugh in such a way that he cannot stop. His laughter is increasing and each of us begin to laugh without knowing exactly why. This is contagious laughter.
We can point out another curious example: in a nursery full of children there is one who starts to cry inconsolably … Almost immediately the rest of the children will look at him and begin to cry on the rise, as if an invitation to a crying festival it was.
We transmit and capture our moods in a truly magical way. Emotions are contagious, in fact our emotional state can turn astonishingly quickly. We always carry out these emotional exchanges, usually in a subtle way, with a greater or lesser intensity and in a conscious or unconscious way.
In addition, people who have the ability to modulate their emotions are the ones who like the most, the ones who make us feel comfortable and well, even if they only said good morning with a smile.
There is evidence that when we interact, while we perceive the emotional state of our companion, our muscles tend to be located in a similar way to that of our interlocutor. That is, in a normal conversation if the other person smiles subtly, we will also tend to smile.
This not only means the imitation of a gesture, it means much more, since it is an emotional approach that will happen to us to a greater or lesser extent according to our sensitivity.
According to the psychologist John Cacioppo, regardless of whether or not we understand the mimicry of our partner, we will evoke their mood by unconsciously seeking an approach and trying to synchronize or match our moods.
In short, it is about the joint composition of a melody that forms its harmonies depending on how we adapt our movements, how we approach or move away and how we mold our posture.
That is, the more attuned there is, the more union there will be both to express and to receive positive or negative states of mind. If, for example, our partner has been sad or irritable for a few weeks, regardless of our basic mood, we will surely end up feeling sadness or irritability that will resemble that of our sentimental partner.
In addition, the greater commitment there is between two people, the greater synchrony there will be, as it has a lot to do with the relationship between two people. Researchers such as Cacioppo maintain the conviction that one of the factors that most determine the effectiveness and success of our relationships is the skill we show when it comes to understanding each other.
In fact, the people we perceive as strong are those who are able to identify the moods of others or impose their own. If one person is able to motivate another, it will be because they have managed to adjust the tone with which they communicate.
The truth is that the fact that we are invisibly so connected never ceases to amaze us. It seems that science is getting answers and, for a few years, explanations of this type of phenomenon have focused on mirror neurons. These neurons are brain cells whose mission is to reflect the activity we are observing and are the culprits that, for example, we yawn when someone does it in front of us.
Ultimately, in the words of Peter F. Druncker, “true empathic listeners can even hear what is said in silence. The most important thing in communication is to hear what is not being said “
Image courtesy of Ellerslie
