The Origin Of The Narcissistic Personality Disorder Would Be In Childhood

Feelings of superiority, lack of empathy, recurring lies, aggressive reactions when they feel humiliated or undervalued … Most of us know how to recognize the traits of narcissism, we have suffered it at some time and we undoubtedly understand the impact of this behavior. However, what is the origin of narcissistic personality disorder? 

Today there is a certain consensus in understanding that a narcissist is not born, he is made. Assuming this places all the responsibility on the parents, which is still somewhat controversial for many. They would ultimately be those direct shapers of this reality that, beyond the obvious problems caused at the relational level, is also a source of discomfort for the narcissist himself.

We know, for example, that this consistent pattern of grandiosity or power fantasies associated with narcissistic personality disorder is correlated with high psychological distress and also with a higher risk of suffering from certain diseases. We are facing a mental condition of high importance, both for the environment of the person and for himself.

Is a narcissist born or made? The origin of narcissistic personality disorder

Being a narcissistic person is not the same as having a narcissistic personality disorder. That is, although it is true that there are men and women who can, at any given moment, demonstrate selfish or manipulative behaviors, it has nothing to do with evidencing this condition included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5 ).

Thus, studies such as the one carried out at the University of Florida indicate that the incidence of this personality pattern would be between 1 and 6% of the population. What is striking is that this disorder ends up being comorbid with other problems, such as substance abuse, anxiety disorders or depression. Thus, an already classic interest in the field of science is to understand the origin of personality disorder.

We analyze it.

Genetic origin is not significant

One factor that has often been taken into account is genetics. Could we assume the possibility that there was a gene associated with narcissism capable of being inherited from parents to children? Even more … What if there is some brain abnormality that leads to this type of personality pattern? The truth is that today there are no significant conclusions that there is a genetic origin for narcissism.

This proposal is therefore not entirely valid.

This is how narcissists are created according to science: two theories

The journal PNAS ( Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences)  carried out an interesting study with which to understand the origin of narcissistic personality disorder. In his analysis he started from two significant hypotheses:

• Social learning theory. In this approach, children develop a view of themselves based on how their parents treat them. Therefore, an overvalued and excessive attention in which there are no limits, nor filters and in which they receive at all times what they want germinates and builds block by block the palace (or prison) of narcissism.

The little ones get used to feeding themselves from inflated opinions about their person very early: you are the most handsome, the most intelligent… The internalization of these messages ends up being highly dangerous for the construction of their identity.

• The psychoanalytic theory. In contrast, the psychoanalytic approach starts from the idea that there are children who grow up without any reinforcement from their parents. This lack of affection and coldness in attention means that, at times, the person needs to place themselves on a pedestal to receive the approval that they did not obtain from their parents.

The problem of not attending to self-centeredness and lack of empathy in childhood

We know that the origin of narcissistic personality disorder has a multifaceted ethology. However, it is already taken for granted that its roots lie in childhood.

The first experiences in child development can be decisive. In this way, we know that there are two key areas that should be addressed to cushion and stop the possible appearance of this type of personality. They are as follows:

Deactivate self-centeredness to take into account the rights of others

We know that being self-centered is not the same as being a narcissist. A manipulative and instrumental component is added to this last dimension. However, in many cases, the first dimension (egocentricity) is the germ of the second (narcissism) in the development of the child.

It is essential that the little ones gradually deactivate that egocentric vision of the early stages that Piaget defined. Learning to take other people’s points of view into account is something that parents and educators should promote as soon as possible. This will ensure that they stop taking precedence in any situation and circumstance, to the point of trampling on the rights of others.

Empathy: the recognition of other people’s emotions

When it comes to fostering empathy in the child, it is necessary in turn to work on healthy self-esteem. The child must recognize and see himself as someone important and loved, but not to the point of enthroning above others. Healthy self-esteem is one that allows us to appreciate ourselves as we deserve, but without neglecting the reality of the other.

Likewise, and on the side of this indispensable psychological tendon, it is a priority to promote empathic competence. Knowing, understanding and promoting a behavior capable of being interested in the emotions of the other will revert to their correct social and emotional development.

Stopping “manufacturing” narcissists requires awareness and responsibility

Giving the world a narcissist is easier than we think. It is enough to give a child everything he asks of us, to adore him to the point of exhaustion, to quench his tears, protests and tantrums with gifts and hours in front of the screens and privileges. Few things are easier than saying “yes” to each moment when the decisive factor is knowing how to tolerate frustration and understand that the world has limits.

Something we must know about the origin of narcissistic personality disorder is that, today, we cannot diagnose this condition until the person is of legal age. However, we can already intuit narcissistic behaviors in children and adolescents.

If we want to shape a more cohesive, empathetic and cooperative society, we must educate our children in empathy and respect. Also in respect and self-esteem. Dynamics such as authoritarian parenting and upbringing based on demand and emotional coldness are also potential dangers for the emergence of narcissism.

Let us bear this in mind and promote a childhood that guarantees the well-being and mental health of the child and the adult of tomorrow.